What White Lotus Gets Right About Toxic Masculinity and Why It Matters for the Boys We’re Raising
Season 3 of The White Lotus gave us something many parents weren’t expecting: a crash course in how boys learn masculinity. Through the Ratliff brothers, we saw what happens when boys are left to figure it out on their own: one gets loud, performs power, and takes up space. The other shuts down, swallows their feelings, and disappears into himself.
This isn’t about blaming boys. It’s about understanding the pressure they’re under, and giving them better tools to show up in the world.
Because prevention doesn’t mean just protecting kids from harm, it means helping them grow into people who don’t cause it.
Let’s dive in.
What the Ratliff Brothers Got Right About Boyhood
White Lotus didn’t offer us a solution, but it gave us a window. The Ratliff brothers model two common paths boys take when navigating masculinity without guidance:
One acts out, searching for control, equating loudness with power.
The other shuts down, masking his softness because vulnerability feels unsafe.
They’re both reacting to the same message: Be a man, but not like that.
The show doesn’t explicitly talk about social media or influencer culture, but we can fill in the gaps. Because today boys are growing up with:
TikTok clips that frame dominance as strength.
Podcasts that call empathy weak.
Algorithms that reward performative aggression.
And they’re seeing it before they hit puberty.
The Real Risks Boys are Facing Today
❌ Toxic masculinity, rebranded: It’s not just locker room talk anymore. It’s billion-view content delivered by influencers who teach boys to suppress, mock, or dominate.
❌ Emotional suppression: Many boys learn early that emotions = weakness. So they don’t cry. Don’t ask for help. Don’t talk when they’re hurting. Until that silence turns to harm, towards themselves or others.
❌ A lack of healthy male role models: Boys need more than rules. They need examples of men who are confident and kind. Assertive and emotionally intelligent.
What Prevention Actually Looks Like
At ExEd, we believe prevention starts way before there’s a crisis.
That means:
✅ Teaching empathy and respect as early as possible.
✅ Helping kids unpack the media they’re consuming.
✅ Giving boys tools to name what they feel, and what they need.
✅ Creating identity-safe classrooms where all genders can thrive.
✅ Having real conversations about consent, sexting, grooming and influence.
When we delay these conversations, the internet fills in the blanks. And what it’s filling them with is loud, harmful, and it’s reaching our kids fast.
What Parents Can Do
This doesn’t mean you need to panic, unplug everything, or sit your child down for a TED Talk. But it does mean you can:
Start small: Ask your son what he thinks about a viral video. Don’t correct him, just listen.
Stay curious: If he shuts down, keep the door open. Curiosity is more powerful than control.
Model it: Show him what emotional regulation looks like. Let him see you apologize. Let him see you talk about hard things.
Most importantly, start early. You don’t have to wait until he’s in high school to talk about masculinity, you can start now.
If the White Lotus opened your eyes, here’s your next step:
Download our free Parent’s Action Plan below: A practical guide for navigating conversations around masculinity, emotional intelligence, and online influence. It’s the perfect starting point for parenting in a world that rewards performance over vulnerability:
Because understanding has to come before prevention.
And prevention starts here.
Rooting for you,
Tiana from ExEd
